The Campaign's Revenge
by khughes830
Summary: Takes place between La Palabra and Things Fall Apart. Along the same lines as Bored At Work not really a sequel. The campaign staff gets revenge, with the help of Donna, on an unruly Josh.


**The Campaign's Revenge**

**A/N**: Takes place sometime on the campaign trail during season 6. Let's say sometime after 'La Palabra' but before 'Things Fall Apart'.

**Disclaimer: **None of the WW characters belong to me, neither does theshow. The unfamiliar names - they belong to my mind!

* * *

They had been in Chicago for about a week now and Josh was about tired of it. He knew he had been on the rampage for a few days now, but he was tired of sitting still. He knew that they only had few more days to go before they headed out, but Chicago was grating on Josh's nerves. 

He was due at the campaign headquarters this morning. So, he walked out of the hotel and sighed – "another Chicago day!" he muttered to himself.

He was about a block from the headquarters when he noticed one of the Chicago volunteers, Clark, sitting in his car. As Josh approached the car, he noticed that Clark had on sunglasses and was pointing a hair dryer at on-coming traffic. Josh knocked on the window and motioned for Clark to roll it down.

"What in the world are you doing?"

"See if they slow down" Clark said in a no nonsense manner, like that answer should make perfect sense. "Now, if you don't mind…" Clark said as he shooed Josh away from the car. Josh stared at him for a minute, but moved on.

He opened up the door to the office and stopped short. Off to the left are about 5 desks where volunteers from the University of Illinois usually sat. Yeah, they were there today, but along with them was a mosquito net and from somewhere under their desks were coming tropical noises.

He walked up and tapped one of the girls, whose name he couldn't remember at this time. She looked up at him.

"Mr. Lyman?"

"Yeah, what's going on?"

"A presidential campaign. Why, what do you think is going on?" she said as she returned her focus to the computer screen.

"No, I mean this…" he said, motioning to the redecorating the girls had done at some point.

"You mean work? That's what we are doing. Would you like us to be doing something else?"

She just stared at him. Finally, after a few moments, he shook his head and walked back to his makeshift office. Even with the door shut, he could still hear the tropical noises.

* * *

He spent an hour reading emails and calling donors who were expected to attend the fundraiser that evening. He had been searching his office for about 10 minutes for the complete guest list, but to no avail. 

"NED!" He yelled.

Ned opened the door and popped his head in the office. "Yeah, Josh?"

"Can you get me another copy of the guest list for tonight?"

"You want fries with that?"

"Yeah, and I also need… wait… what?" Josh said, looking up at his aide.

"I asked if you wanted fries with that."

Josh sat there, looking at Ned, expecting him to say he was kidding or to start laughing, but Ned just stared at him.

"Umm… no, just the list, thanks."

"Alrighty then!" Josh about fell out of his chair as he watched Ned skip back to his desk to get the list.

About an hour later, Joan, one of the speechwriters, breezed into Josh's office and dropped off a copy of the speech the Congressman was making that night. Josh started to read it before he stopped. He walked out of his office and over to Joan's desk.

"Um… Joan?"

"Josh."

"Yeah… not that I'm criticizing or anything… it would seem that… I just noticed…"

"Spit it out Josh, I'm a busy woman."

"You didn't use any punctuation in this speech."

She looked up at the paper Josh was holding out for her.

"Well, would you look at that. Oh well, the Congressman is a smart man – he'll figure it out." Josh just stared at her with his mouth hanging open as she returned to the file she was reading. Shaking his head, he started back to his office.

He got about 5 feet when he heard "Joan, Joan please come back to your desk."

He slowly turned back around to look at Joan. "Did you…. Did you just page yourself over the intercom?"

"Yeah." He stared at her like she had lost her mind, but continued backing up to his office.

As he passed Ronna's desk, he dug out the memo that he needed her to distribute from the stack of papers he was currently carrying.

"Ronna, can you make copies and get this out to everyone?"

Ronna was typing at her desk. She didn't even look at him as she motioned to the other side of her small cubicle. "Just put it in my in box." Josh took one step when he noticed that her in box was currently a trash can.

"Um… Ronna?"

"Yeah" she said, still not looking up, but concentrating on whatever was currently printing out of her desk top printer.

"Ronna."

"Yeah" she said as she looked up at him.

"Your inbox is your trash can."

She sighed. "Yeah, I realize that. It just made more sense, what with all the garbage I seem to get stuck with during the day, in accordance with the prophecy!"

"THAT'S IT!" Josh roared as he slammed his stack of papers down.

"What in the world is going on with you all today? Have you all lost your freakin' minds?"

Ronna looked up at him and smiled as she handed him the papers that just came out of her printer.

"This is for you" she said as she handed him the papers and walked away.

Josh stared at her as she crossed the room before he looked down at what she had handed him.

_To: Ronna Jones  
From: Donna Moss  
Subject: Re: Advice on J. Lyman  
Attach…: A day's worth of entertainment.doc_

_Ronna: see attached. Disperse to all volunteers in the office. Give copy of this email to Josh._

_Joshua:_

_Stop tormenting the volunteers. You are starting to freak them the hell out. Remember, not everyone knows you as the big pushover that I do. So, do them all a favor, take a breath and let them have a good laugh at your expense (I remember a time when Margaret, Carol, Ginger, and I did the same thing)._

_Drinks tonight? We get into Chicago very early on the 16th – we're at the Wyndham. Call my cell – I'll be done by 10._

_Donnatella_

Josh smiled at the email, remembering when the Senior Staff had thought all the assistants had lost their minds that summer. He laughed out loud when he started to read the attachment.

_**Twenty ways to maintain a healthy level of Insanity**_

_At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars – see if they slow down._

_Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice._

_Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that._

_Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'in'._

_Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone had gotten over the caffeine addictions, switch to espresso._

_In the memo field of all your check, write 'for sexual favors'._

_Finish all your sentences with 'in accordance with the prophecy'._

_dont use any punctuation_

_As often as possible, skip rather than walk._

_Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'._

_Sing along at the opera._

_Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme._

_Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day._

_When money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won! I won!'_

_When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lost yelling 'run for your lives, they're loose!'_

_Tell your children over dinner 'due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'_

Josh looked up and saw his staff smirking at him.

"You all proud of yourselves?"

They all shook their heads in the affirmative.

"OK, then. Can we get back to work now?"

The staff laughed and started to move back to their desks.

Josh smiled at the people he was currently working with, and started to smile even bigger when he got his cell phone out and hit one on the speed dial. The phone only rang twice before it was answered.

"Quit being a bad influence on my campaign staff, Donnatella…"

THE END


End file.
